


strength in your weakness

by SaraJaye



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Almost Kiss, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Food, Falling Short of Heaven paralogue, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Honest Felix, M/M, Pre-Slash, Surprisingly Soft Felix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23885956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: His head and his heart reeling from the aftermath of what he expected to be true closure, Ashe finds comfort in the most unexpected place.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert & Lonato, Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	strength in your weakness

He told everyone he was fine, just tired, before going to his room and locking the door.. It had been a long battle with too many close calls for Ashe's liking, and even though Lady Rhea could more than defend herself he and Catherine had still panicked anytime the enemy so much as grazed her.

He'd had a chance to talk to Catherine after. Christophe was her old friend, she'd turned him in even as every fiber of her being cried out that it was wrong, and she'd wanted to hold onto all the old documents from Castle Gaspard. But Ashe had convinced her to let him keep them, and right now he wished he hadn't.

It would have been easier to think he'd never mattered much to Lonato beyond just a kid he'd taken under his wing all those years ago, that everything he did he'd done for Christophe.

_I say this because I love you, because you're every bit as dear to me as my own son. I cannot involve you in any of this, and I hope to the goddess you never learn the truth. You possess a pure heart, one that must be protected from such harsh realities._

Catherine had told him, though, because he'd demanded it of her. _Christophe was weak, easily led astray._ He _had_ tried to kill Lady Rhea, long before the Tragedy of Duscur, but they'd implicated him in the latter and that was it. Lonato broke, rarely smiled, turned his back on the church. Anytime Ashe asked if there were anything he could do, Lonato would pat his head and tell him it would be just fine.

_He wanted to protect me...but if I'd helped him, could I have saved him?_

A knock interrupted his thoughts.

"Who's there?"

"Hey...you missed dinner. The boar insisted I bring you something so you didn't starve."

"Oh...hang on a sec." Ashe got up slowly, turning the lock and letting Felix in. "I'm not that hungry right now, but thanks anyway." Felix frowned. Felix was always frowning or scowling, but something was different about it this time.

"You're not okay."

"How-"

"Come on, it doesn't take a Mercedes to figure out something's wrong when you're not your usual sickeningly bright-eyed, eager self," Felix snorted. "You want me to go get her, or the professor, or-"

"Don't. The professor's already got enough on her plate and I don't want to bother anyone else." Felix barged his way into the room, set the tray on the desk, and closed the door. "Hey-"

"Then can I stay? Sylvain's been bugging me all evening to go look for girls, and I'd rather sit here and watch you pick at your dinner and mope than watch Sylvain fail all evening," he said. Ashe forced a smile.

"If you really want to." He sat back down on his bed and to his surprise, Felix joined him. They sat in silence for several moments, barely an inch apart from one another, Ashe trying to read his classmate. He couldn't claim he was surprised; he was one of the few people who would say outright that for all his snippy remarks and tough attitudes, Felix Fraldarius had a kind and gentle heart underneath. But he also knew Felix didn't like to display such traits, for whatever reason.

_Besides, even if he did, I'm not exactly good company right now. Doesn't he usually train around this time?_

"So what was _in_ all those documents anyway? I thought getting to the bottom of everything would've made you feel better," Felix said. Ashe thought of the letter, of Lonato's wishes for him, and sighed.

"It did, at first. But even they didn't explain everything, so I talked to Catherine." Felix nodded.

"I see."

" _I_ thought I'd feel better now that I know the truth," Ashe said. "I _wanted_ to know! I begged her to tell me everything, and she _did,_ but-" He clenched his fist. "Christophe wasn't blood-related to me, but he was still my big brother! He treated me like I was his real brother and not just some kid his father took in! That whole household, they treated me like their own even after I got caught stealing!" Tears prickled at his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around his chest, swallowing. "They were perfect. They did so much for me and my brother and sister. Lonato, Christophe, the servants...all of them, like knights-"

"In a storybook," Felix finished. "But this isn't a storybook. Even the nicest people in the world are still human beings, they still have dark sides, and they still screw up. If you ask me, Lonato screwed up by hiding everything from you in the first place."

"No he didn't!" Ashe squeezed his eyes shut, inching away. "And even if he did, if I were a parent I would have-"

_Would you, though? If you were a father, would you really put your son through the same pain, grief, and regret you're feeling right now? Would you want him to be confused, possibly hate someone he considers a friend? Feel like a failure, because for all his dreams of being a perfect knight he couldn't even protect the person who gave him so much?_

He felt a surprisingly gentle hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes. Felix's gaze was somewhere between sharp and sad, and it was all he could do not to cry.

"I thought this would make me feel better. Seeing the documents, talking to Catherine, I thought it'd finally put this thing to rest. So why do I feel _worse?_ "

"I dunno." Felix shrugged. "Maybe because you put Lonato and Christophe on pedestals. I mean, my brother and I were closer than anything but I never thought he was perfect." He snorted. "Glenn was rude, picked fights, ate with his fingers, and still ruffled my hair and called me _kiddo_ when I wasn't little anymore. That last thing drove me nuts."

Ashe smiled sadly.

"It takes strength not to see someone as perfect, then. You're just-"

"Don't." Felix's grip on his shoulder tightened. "You're not weak. You just..." He sighed. "You see the best in almost everyone. You believe in the power of justice and chivalry and love and all that sappy stuff. You're the kind of person who smiles at the jerk who mocks you for believing in that stuff and tells him he's like a storybook character." Ashe laughed a little.

"That really stuck with you, didn't it?"

"Unfortunately." Felix rolled his eyes.

"You say that, but you came here to check on me. Doesn't that kind of prove my point?" Ashe asked.

"Exactly. And you just proved _my_ point, didn't you? This could've all been a ruse so I could mock you and tell everyone what a wimp you are," Felix said. "But you still let me in and you're sitting here spilling your guts to me. It takes strength to be that trusting."

Ashe couldn't help laughing a bit at that, blinking away the tears now threatening to fall. He leaned against Felix's shoulder, and to his surprise Felix not only didn't push him away, but drew him closer.

"Why would I worry about that? You think gossip's a waste of time."

"I could change my mind," Felix said, but the barest hint of a smile teased at the corners of his mouth and something in Ashe began to lift a little. He nestled further under Felix's arm, pressing his cheek against his shoulder.

"But you won't."

_It takes strength to be that trusting._ Christophe trusted people easily, Catherine said, it was what led to his downfall, his demise. _But knowing you, Christophe, you would do it all over again even if you knew what would happen, wouldn't you?_

Ashe had been afraid when Lonato first reached out to him, afraid that one wrong move would see him and his brother and sister on the street again. But he chose to trust Lonato, chose to model his faith in others on Christophe's. Even now, he couldn't say he regretted it. Even when life forced him to rethink his ideals, even knowing the two men he'd admired more than anything weren't perfect, the good in them outshone the bad.

"I think in some ways you might be the strongest of all of us," Felix said. Ashe's cheeks flushed as he lifted his gaze; he'd never seen Felix's eyes look as soft as they did in this moment.

"Felix..." Without thinking, he closed his eyes, tilted his face up, and-

-his stomach growled, almost angrily, reminding him that there was a tray of food on his desk and he hadn't eaten since that afternoon. Felix let go of him, leapt up, and shoved the tray into his hands.

"Eat," he commanded. "And I'm staying with you tonight. No arguments." Ashe smiled, slowly digging into the bowl of spicy fish and turnip stew.

"Thank you, Felix."

"Don't mention it," Felix murmured, but he was smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Ashe and Felix's B support was legit one of the most beautiful and sincere things I'd ever seen, true story. I couldn't help noticing how Felix is actually sincere, no tsundere behavior, just. Honest, but kind, and you can just SEE how much it helps Ashe and while I appreciate the support set for what it is I still wish they took it further and these two got at least a platonic ending!


End file.
